She opened her eyes wide, took a good look around, and found that she was living in the middle
of who she was and who she wanted to become. It was very confusing, realizing that she was suddenly dispossessed of hard-earned self-knowledge. Becoming is a process, a
lasting process, and while she had a vision in mind, neither did she want to
stifle possibilities as she avidly pursued her path to Somewhere. She found herself wondering how to change the pattern,
how to change her mind, how to renew her soul. She found herself reconsidering her
friends, an imperfect man, her apartment, her job, her city, her choices.
Eyes-wide-shut, with a leap of faith, she
discovered she was capable of living. She figured it was
possible to renegotiate Love. She found that it might be acceptable to
relinquish Love in favor of the real thing, vole or ovel or evol(ve) - whatever that might be, however that might happen. She
allowed herself to be jealous, to be annoyed, to be irate...to be calm, to find happiness, to feel free. Not necessarily in that order. She allowed herself to B. Existing is half the battle. Being herself, she discovered, is the other half. Being still, being free, being faithful. Being alive, alive and well.
Unwilling to live in-between, she discovered what it means to Create. Creation does not have to be a battle. She threw herself, head-first, into the light, rejecting the path to Nowhere, deviating from her path to Somewhere, and choosing Anywhere.
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